Darren Alff

I arrived at the June residence 15 minutes late. I would have been on time if I had not somehow dropped the keys to the car underneath the driver’s side seat. I just got in the car and the keys were gone. I still have no idea how they keys managed to wedge themselves so far under the seat… but they did!

Once at Jason and Danielle’s house, we jumped in the car and headed toward the hills between Newbury Park and Malibu. Our destination was a parking lot just off of the Backbone Trail where we would climb a short distance before reaching Sandstone Peak - the highest point in the Santa Monica Mountains. Elevation 3111 feet.

It was a clear day and the views were incredible, but it was so terribly hot that it took a bit of fun out of the hike.

The climb was easy for me, as I’ve been living in high elevation for the past few years, but the Junes struggled a bit more. I felt terrible dragging them up the hill when they were obviously so hot and miserable, but I had come so far… and I really wanted to make it to the top. Thankfully, Jason and Danielle did actually make it to the top and the view was spectacular.

Completely out of water, we made our way down the mountain just as the temperatures started to receed.

On the way back to their house, we stopped and bought some ice cold water and dreamt of cold showers.

Thank you Jason and Danielle for pushing on today. If we had quit and gone home, we wouldn’t have these incredible photos to share!

PS - The spots you see on the photos are there because my camera got dust inside it when I was in Aruba. I’ve ordered a new camera and it should arrive soon. In the meantime, I apologize about the photo dots.

I just finished a book by leading Bigfoot authority, Loren Coleman. The book is titled, “Bigfoot! : The True Story of Apes in America.”

As you may or may not know, I have a slight fascination with the beast we know as “Bigfoot.” I wrote a report on bigfoot in the 6th grade and since that time have been both intrigued and terrified by the idea of a giant human-like ape wandering around in the woods. And because I spend so much time out in the forest by myself, the idea of Bigfoot scares me even more!

In Coleman’s book, he discusses many of the famous Bigfoot cases and reveals some Bigfoot stories I had never heard before. One of these unknown stories ended up causing a huge ruckus on the Internet after people listening to one of Coleman’s speeches misinterpreted his message and thought that the renowned Bigfoot expert was suggesting that Bigfoot might be gay!

Here’s what happened:

In 2001, Coleman was giving a speech to a good-sized group (about 225 people) of Bigfoot enthusiasts in Newcomerstown, Ohio. During his presentation, Coleman briefly told the story of a eyewitness who had seen Bigfoot having sex with a cow. Coleman “lightheartedly wondered aloud if 10 percent of the Bigfoot population, matching the figures we have for Homo sapiens, might be gay.” He then moved on to another subject.

At the end of Coleman’s lecture, the Bigfoot expert answered a number of questions, but no one brought up the “sex question.”

It was to Coleman’s surprise then, that a few days later the Internet was abuzz with outrage over his suggestion that Bigfoot might be gay.

People that were not even in attendance at the seminar were sending Coleman nasty emails and making horrible comments about him on the Web. Some people were upset with the fact that the Bigfoot expert had brought up the subject when there were children in attendance at the presentation.

One angry writer wrote, “Talking about bigfoot and anal sex with cattle by an unclassified creature when there are children in the audience who may view Bigfoot as a monster anyway, isn’t a subject YOU as the speaker, arbitrarily have the right to inflict on other families.” Another person wrote, “ The most important point is that you have NO credible evidence that Sasquatch have anal intercourse with cattle. What stupid illiterate speculation!!!!!!!!!!”

Then, something funny happened! Another Internet user responded by saying, “Actually, if Bigfoot was gay, he wouldn’t be having sex with cows, he’d be having sex with bulls!”

To follow that up, Dave Grenier of Olympia, Washington clarified the joke by saying that, no, “if Bigfoot was gay, he’d be having sex with another Bigfoot, not a bull.”

In the end, Coleman notes that to this day many people remember him only as the guy who said “Bigfoot is gay” and “has anal sex with cows.”

This might be a devastating professional blow for Coleman, but to me it’s just plain funny!

I went on a hike today in area not far from my home. The sun was setting in the distance and it was really quite beautiful. The trail was empty, except for a few small patches of snow and the sporadic footprint of a giant moose.

About halfway up the mountain I heard what sounded like a car crashing through the trees. Normally, this would have scared the dickens out of me, but I’ve experienced this sound a number of times since moving to Park City in early 2006. It was a moose!

Up the hill, about 40 feet away from me were two adolescent moose. They had obviously spotted me and were doing their best to get some distance.

The first one easily broke through the branches that surrounded it and quickly leaped up the hillside and out of view. But the second moose didn’t have such luck. It got stuck in a thick mess of sticks and branches and for a moment I thought it might have injured itself during its getaway. But it eventually broke itself free and headed up the hill after its sister.

It was then that I pulled out my camera, hoping to get a photo of these two young moose before they left my sight. It was then that I looked to the left and saw a giant creature running down the trail above me. It was a mother moose… and she was hauling ass!

The moose stops in her tracks and looks right at me.

As soon as she got to the spot where the second adolescent moose had gotten trapped in the branches, she stopped and looked right at me. I held up my camera and took two quick snapshots. I tried to let her know that I wasn’t going to hurt her or her kids, but it was too late! She twisted her head to the side and then came charging through the brush right at me!

This photo was taken less than a second before she charged right at me!

What did I do?

I did what any reasonable person would have done in this situation. I ran… and I ran fast!

I ran down the trail in the direction I had come with the sound of a giant moose flying up behind me. At its closest, the mother moose was probably no more than 25 feet away.

I ran and I ran. I ran about 100 feet down the trail before I turned around to look and see whether the moose was still following me. It wasn’t.

I accidently took this photo of my leg while I was running from the moose!

The mother moose had stopped its charge just past the place where I was standing when I took the photos. It stood there for a moment as it looked at me… and then it meandered back up the hill towards its kids.

I had planned to do more hiking today, but with three large moose blocking the trail and one aggressive charge already under my belt for the day, I decided to call off my hike. I quickly turned around and made my way back home – fearing every little bird, groundhog, and mouse that moved in the underbrush.